Because God wants connection, not contracts.
Some seasons taught me something I didn’t want to admit: I wasn’t praying because I wanted God—I was praying because I wanted something from Him. And the sad part is, it felt normal. I’d show up with a list, hand it to Him like a customer service ticket, and walk away hoping for fast turnaround.
But prayer was never meant to be a spiritual drive-thru window. It was meant to be a place where you breathe again. A place where God doesn’t evaluate you—He holds you. A place where you remember you’re loved, not just heard.
The older I get, the more I realize that a transactional prayer life leaves you empty. Because transactions don’t build trust. They don’t build intimacy. They don’t build identity.
But relationship does.
When I started slowing down long enough to let God speak back, something shifted. I stopped praying like someone trying to impress Him and started praying like someone who finally believed He wanted me.
And that’s when peace started settling in the places where pressure once lived.
Relational prayer feels different.
It’s not perfect. It’s not polished. And it definitely doesn’t sound like a Sunday morning microphone.
It sounds like:
“Lord, here’s where I’m hurting… here’s where I’m trying… here’s where I need You to steady me.”
It’s the honesty He’s after—because honesty invites closeness. Scripture even shows this. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray (Luke 5:16, NLT). Not to make requests, but to reconnect. To breathe in the Father’s presence again.
If the Son of God prayed for relationship, not results… what makes me think I didn’t need the same?
Transactional prayer leaves you anxious.
Relational prayer leaves you anchored.
One keeps you watching the clock.
The other keeps you watching His heart.
One makes you afraid you said something wrong.
The other reminds you He already knows—and still welcomes you.
One treats God like a resource.
The other treats Him like a Father.
Philippians 4:6–7 in the CSB says, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God… and the peace of God… will guard your hearts.”
Peace doesn’t show up because you prayed correctly.
Peace shows up because you prayed relationally.
You talk differently when you’re not trying to ‘get something.’
I don’t come to Him hoping for performance points anymore.
I come because I’m learning that relationship is the blessing.
And the crazy thing?
When relationship becomes the focus, requests stop feeling like demands—and start feeling like conversations. I’m not rushing. I’m not panicking. I’m not bargaining.
I’m just showing up with a heart that says,
“Lord, I want You to be in this with me.”
Before you go…
If your prayers have felt dry, distant, or pressured, don’t beat yourself up. Many of us were trained to pray for answers before we were taught to pray for relationship.
Just start talking to Him again—honest, quiet, unpolished.
No script. No checklist.
Just presence.
Because when your prayer life becomes relational, not transactional, you stop praying like a stranger…
and start praying like a son.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
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Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
