There’s something deeply healing about presence — not presence that preaches, corrects, or diagnoses, but presence that just is. We underestimate how powerful it can be to simply show up for someone without an agenda, a checklist, or a five-point plan.
Too often, especially in church culture, we’ve been conditioned to think our value lies in what we say to people in their pain. We want to offer scriptures, solutions, or spiritual insights. And while there’s a time for those things, many of us forget the sacredness of silence and the healing power of proximity.
Some wounds don’t need words.
Some valleys don’t need directions.
Some hearts don’t need advice — they just need you.
I’ve learned this the hard way. There’ve been moments when I’ve tried to “fix” people with encouragement that felt more like pressure, or spiritual talk that sounded good but didn’t land. But I’ve also been on the receiving end — where someone sat next to me, said nothing profound, and yet their quiet company spoke volumes. They weren’t trying to solve me. They just didn’t want me to be alone.
That… is ministry.
The Biblical Blueprint
In Job 2:13, Job’s friends did something incredibly wise — at first.
“Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because they saw how great his suffering was.”
Before they started offering opinions (and got it all wrong), they did what many of us forget to do: they sat. No words. No sermons. Just presence.
Sometimes, we rush to talk because silence makes us uncomfortable. We feel we must do something. But what if the most powerful thing you could do was be something — be there, be quiet, be available?
The Urge to Fix
There’s a part of us that wants to play savior — to rescue, to repair, to resolve. But that’s not our role. Healing is God’s job. Our job is often just to walk alongside.
When someone is grieving, struggling, or processing trauma, they don’t need our perfection. They need our permission — permission to feel, to hurt, to not have it all together. You can give them that, just by being near.
Real Love Doesn’t Rush
When Jesus wept at Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35), He knew resurrection was coming. But He didn’t skip over the sorrow. He entered into it.
He wasn’t afraid to feel deeply with others. That’s real empathy. That’s divine presence.
What It Looks Like Practically
Showing up doesn’t have to be complicated. It looks like:
- Sitting quietly with someone in a hospital room.
- Texting, “I’m here if you need anything. No pressure to talk.”
- Listening without interrupting or trying to solve.
- Saying, “I don’t have the answers, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Presence doesn’t demand. It doesn’t rush healing. It doesn’t make it about you.
It simply says: You are not alone.
A Word to the Fixers (Me Included)
If you’re someone who feels uncomfortable with silence, or who wants to be helpful — I get it. Me too. But let’s be careful not to confuse helpfulness with control. Sometimes, our need to fix is more about us than the other person.
Let God be the fixer. You just be a friend.
Final Thought
We don’t have to have the perfect words. We just have to show up.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is sit down, hold a hand, and say nothing. That’s not weakness. That’s ministry.
And it might be exactly what someone needs.
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