We don’t talk about it enough, but in many circles—especially faith communities—there’s an unspoken pressure that if you’re not married by a certain age, something must be off. You’re either too picky, too damaged, or worse… forgotten. And if you’re divorced or single again after loss, it’s almost as if people start sizing up your potential for “a comeback” before they see your wholeness.
Let me say this plainly: Your relationship status does not determine your worth. You are not “less than” if you’re single. You are not “incomplete” if there’s no one beside you right now. God does not assign value based on whether you wear a ring or not.
Sometimes we’ve idolized marriage so deeply that singleness feels like punishment. But Scripture never made marriage the measuring stick for purpose. Jesus—the most complete and whole man who ever walked this earth—was never married. Paul, who wrote so much of the New Testament, not only embraced singleness but taught its benefits for those who are called to it (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).
And yet, many are taught to believe their “glory days” begin once someone chooses them. But what if God already chose you for something greater before any spouse ever could?
Don’t Let the World Rush You
There’s a difference between desiring marriage and idolizing it. A desire is honest. It’s human. It’s even healthy. But an idol demands your peace and identity in exchange for false validation.
If your prayers are always about “finding the one,” but you haven’t taken the time to find yourself in God—then marriage won’t fix that. If anything, it’ll expose it.
God’s timing is not a punishment. It’s preparation. Sometimes we’re not being denied anything… we’re just being refined for something. And sometimes, that “something” has nothing to do with a relationship.
Who Are You When No One Is Watching?
I’ve sat with people who were single and thriving, and others who were married and miserable. Status doesn’t determine peace—purpose does. Peace comes when you know who you are in God, and that you don’t need to perform for acceptance.
You are already loved. Already seen. Already chosen.
Marriage may be part of your story, but it’s not the proof of your significance. You are not a “half” waiting on your “other half.” You are whole in Christ.
To the One Waiting, Hoping, or Healing
If you’re praying for marriage, don’t stop. But while you pray, prepare. Not just for a spouse—but for your calling. For your healing. For your wholeness.
Don’t let society or even church culture make you feel like you’re behind. You’re not. You’re exactly where God has you. Marriage is not your graduation into value. You’ve had value from the moment He called you by name.
So live well. Love deeply. Serve fully. And know that being single doesn’t mean you’re sitting in life’s waiting room. It just means you’re walking a different path—with just as much beauty, impact, and divine intention.
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