Distinguishing Between Healthy Boundaries and Self-Imposed Isolation
Some of us weren’t taught boundaries—we were taught survival. So we built walls. Thick ones. We told ourselves it was protection. And in some seasons, it may have been. But if you’re still living behind those walls, ask yourself: is it still protection, or is it prison?
There’s a difference between setting God-led boundaries and building walls out of fear. One honors your healing; the other hides your wounds.
God doesn’t call us to be wide open to everything—but neither does He want us to be closed off from everyone. Scripture is full of examples of God setting boundaries (He told Adam and Eve not to eat from one tree), but He still walked with them in the cool of the day. Relationship was never removed. Wisdom was the protection, not the wall.
When we build emotional walls, we’re often trying to manage pain on our own. That breakup. That betrayal. That abandonment. We create rules around what we’ll never allow again—then quietly keep everyone out. Even the ones God sent to help.
Proverbs 4:23 (CSB) says: “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” Guarding is not the same as hiding. A guard is alert and discerning. A wall just blocks.
The truth is, not everyone is safe. But not everyone is a threat either. And the Holy Spirit is the best discerner of who’s who. That’s why wisdom will say, “Don’t give them all access,” while fear says, “Don’t let anyone in at all.”
God doesn’t want us to be emotionally reckless. But He also doesn’t want us to be emotionally unreachable.
Some of the strongest people are the ones learning how to heal in layers—who know how to say, “I need space,” without saying, “I don’t need people.” They know when to pause, when to pray, and when to open the door again.
And perhaps that’s where you find yourself. You’ve grown. You’re wiser now. But your walls? They might still be reverberating with your old pain. And God is gently saying, “You can come out now. I’ve got you.”
You’re not wrong for protecting yourself. Just make sure that the One who protects you is also the One who guides you. Let wisdom establish the boundaries—and allow God to be the gatekeeper.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
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Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
