Taking a moment to reflect can change the trajectory of a conversation.
There’s a moment — right after you hear something offensive, disappointing, or frustrating — where everything in you wants to react. That split second where your emotions are ready to take over, words are forming, and defenses are rising. But if you let that moment breathe, something powerful happens: reflection takes the wheel.
I’ve learned this the hard way. There were times I reacted too quickly. Times when I said things I couldn’t take back. And while apologies help, they don’t always erase the weight of words spoken in haste. But I’ve also experienced the strength of pausing. And that pause? It changes everything.
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.” (CSB)
Notice, it doesn’t say silence turns away anger — it says a gentle answer. This means you still respond. But you respond differently.
Reflection Isn’t Weakness — It’s Wisdom
In today’s culture, people often equate quick responses with strength. The one who snaps back the fastest wins. But spiritually — and emotionally — that’s not the case.
When you take time to reflect before you respond:
- You give your emotions time to settle.
- You allow the Holy Spirit room to guide your words.
- You respond from a place of wisdom, not woundedness.
James 1:19 reminds us:
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (CSB)
Slow isn’t bad. Slow is steady. Slow is intentional.
Your response sets the tone.
How you respond has the power to deescalate or detonate. I’ve had conversations where my reflective answer softened someone who was ready to argue. I’ve seen how a calm word can defuse tension, and how a simple “Let me think about that before I respond” can create the space you need to process your emotions with God.
The Holy Spirit Helps Us Pause
The Holy Spirit doesn’t just speak to us in prayer or worship — He enters our real-life conversations. He encourages you to take a breath when you’re about to react. He nudges you to hold your tongue when you feel tempted to retaliate. That’s not suppression — that’s growth.
Galatians 5:22-23 lists self-control as part of the fruit of the Spirit. And self-control often manifests itself in these precise moments.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
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Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
