The Truth About “Death Comes in Threes” and What Matters More

There’s a phrase people say…

“Death comes in threes.”

I’ve heard it my whole life.
And I’ll be honest… in this season, it almost felt true.

Because I’m not speaking from theory right now.
I’m coming from a season where loss hasn’t been spaced out—it’s been close.

Close family members.
People I know.
Young people.

Some from sickness.
Some unexpectedly.
Some in ways that don’t even make sense.

And the hardest part?

It hasn’t felt like it pauses long enough for you to catch your breath.

It’s been… continual.

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When Loss Doesn’t Give You Time

There’s something different about grief when it comes in waves like that.

You don’t fully process one…
before another one shows up.

You don’t fully recover emotionally…
before your heart has to stretch again.

And if we’re honest, there’s a quiet question that starts forming:

“Why does it feel like this keeps happening?”

Not always spoken out loud.
But it’s there.

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I Had to Check What I Was Believing

Because if I’m not careful, I’ll start believing something God never said.

That loss is scheduled.
That pain comes in patterns.
That I should expect the next hit.

And once you start expecting it…
you start living braced instead of living in faith.

But the truth is…

That saying? It’s not scripture.

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Where It Likely Came From

The phrase traces back to European folklore, particularly in English and Celtic traditions.

In those cultures, the number three carried symbolic weight:

• Three was seen as a number of completion or pattern (beginning, middle, end)
• Many stories, myths, and sayings were structured in threes
• So when two deaths occurred close together, people began to expect a third

Over time, this became a kind of psychological pattern people looked for, not something that was actually proven.

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What Is True

What God actually said is this:

2 Corinthians 12:9 (CSB)
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”

I’ve had to lean on that differently in this season.

Not as a quote.
Not as something to repeat.

But as something to hold onto.

Because when things feel continual…
grace has to feel continual too.

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God Didn’t Step Away

Here’s something I had to remind myself:

Psalm 34:18 (CSB)
“The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.”

Near… not distant.

Near when the call comes.
Near when you’re trying to process it.
Near when your emotions don’t even line up with your faith.

And sometimes, that’s the part we wrestle with.

Because you can believe God…
and still feel the weight at the same time.

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This Season Taught Me Something

I used to think strength looked like not being affected.

Now I know better.

Strength is feeling it…
and still holding onto God.

Strength is saying:
“I don’t understand this… but I trust You.”

Strength is not letting what I’m experiencing rewrite what I believe.

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Mountain or Valley… He’s Still There

I’ve had mountain moments.

Moments where everything made sense.
Moments where prayers were answered quickly.
Moments where life felt aligned.

But this?

This has been more valley than mountain.

And what I’m learning in the valley is something I couldn’t fully learn on the mountain:

God is just as present here.

Not less present.
Not quieter in a way that means absence.

Just as present.

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Before You Go

I won’t pretend this season has been easy.

It hasn’t.

And I won’t pretend I’ve had perfect responses every time.

I haven’t.

But I am learning this:

I don’t have to believe in cycles of loss…
when I can stand on the consistency of God.

Because even when life feels continual…

His grace is continual too.

And wherever I find myself—
mountain or valley—

He’s still near.