Not every close connection is godly.
Some relationships feel like home—but that doesn’t mean they’re holy.
Just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s right. Some of us are drawn to dysfunction not because we enjoy pain, but because it reminds us of what we survived. If love looks like what hurt you, it can be easy to confuse survival with soul ties.
We don’t always recognize unhealthy patterns because they don’t always show up in abuse. Sometimes they show up in emotional inconsistency, spiritual passivity, or manipulation that’s masked as devotion. And if your heart is used to being drained, even a trickle of attention can feel like a flood.
Familiar ≠ Fruitful
The soul craves what it has known—even when what it has known was toxic. That’s why some people don’t feel right unless they’re fighting, fixing, or forfeiting their peace. But God didn’t design love to be a rehabilitation center for someone else’s unresolved trauma.
A connection that drains your identity, stifles your calling, or confuses your peace isn’t sent by God—it’s tolerated by habit.
Letting Go of What Feels Familiar
- You’re not obligated to stay in what God never asked you to enter.
- Familiar pain should never feel safer than unfamiliar healing.
- God doesn’t build love through chaos—He builds it with clarity, order, and truth.
If you’re constantly guessing where you stand, questioning your worth, or making excuses for patterns you know don’t align with God’s best, it’s time to evaluate: is this love… or just a learned response to unhealed wounds?
Healing Starts with Honesty
Sometimes we love people who don’t love God. Sometimes we attach to people who only know how to survive, not grow. That doesn’t make you weak. It means you’re human. But growth requires you to stop romanticizing potential and start honoring your peace.
God’s love doesn’t confuse, manipulate, or call you to shrink.
It lifts. It affirms. It sanctifies.
And if the love you’re receiving doesn’t lead you back to Him—it’s not really love at all.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
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Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
