Learning to trust your peace more than your preference.
We’ve all wanted something that wasn’t good for us. A relationship, a job, an opportunity — something that seemed right, felt right, and matched everything we thought we needed.
But over time, it started costing us our peace. And peace is one price you should never have to pay.
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When Desire and Discernment Don’t Match
Sometimes what we want and what’s right don’t agree. It’s confusing, especially when the thing we’re reaching for looks like it could finally make everything make sense.
But deep down, you can feel the tension — that small, unsettled place inside that keeps whispering, this isn’t helping you grow.
You might not want to hear it, but that voice is wisdom talking.
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Why “No” Can Be Kind
Not every closed door means you failed. Sometimes it’s life — or God — protecting you from something that would’ve looked good but left you drained.
There are seasons when what feels like rejection is really redirection. The job that would’ve stolen your joy. The relationship that would’ve made you smaller. The opportunity that would’ve taken more than it gave.
Eventually, you realize that “no” wasn’t the end — it was the rescue.
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What Emotional Intelligence Teaches You
When you want something that isn’t right, it’s not about beating yourself up. It’s about paying attention.
Emotional intelligence says, Don’t ignore your peace to chase your preference.
It reminds you to check in with yourself before you commit, and to ask simple, grounding questions:
• Does this bring calm or confusion?
• Am I rushing this because I’m lonely or afraid?
• Is this feeding my purpose or my insecurity?
Slowing down long enough to ask those questions can save you months — even years — of undoing.
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Practical Living: How to Move Forward
1. Pause Before You Pursue
Give yourself permission to wait 24 hours before acting on strong emotions. Time has a way of clearing fog.
2. Check for Peace
If you keep losing your peace when you move closer to something, that’s a sign to stop.
3. Don’t Romanticize Red Flags
Pay attention to what people show you, not just what you hope they’ll become.
4. Get Honest About the “Why”
Sometimes it’s not what we want that hurts us — it’s why we want it. Be real with yourself about what you’re chasing.
5. Be Grateful for Closed Doors
Gratitude helps reframe what looks like loss. What didn’t work out may have saved you from something you couldn’t yet see.
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Closing Thought
Wanting something that isn’t good for you doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
But choosing peace, choosing patience, choosing to walk away — that’s strength. And eventually, you’ll see why what didn’t work out wasn’t rejection at all. It was protection.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
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Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
