A gentle look at fear-based authority
Somewhere along the way, many men were taught that leadership means staying in charge at all costs. Keep your hand tight on the wheel. Don’t let anyone see uncertainty. Don’t lose control. The problem is, control and leadership aren’t the same thing—and confusing the two can quietly damage families, teams, churches, and even our own hearts.
Control is usually rooted in fear. Fear of being disrespected. Fear of being replaced. Fear of being exposed. When fear is in the driver’s seat, authority becomes loud, rigid, and reactive. Decisions get made to protect position instead of people. Conversations shut down. Vulnerability feels dangerous.
Leadership, on the other hand, flows from security. A secure man doesn’t need to dominate the room to know who he is. He can listen without feeling threatened. He can empower others without worrying about losing his voice. True leadership creates space—it doesn’t suffocate it.
Scripture shows us this contrast clearly. Saul ruled with control. David led with trust. Saul’s leadership was obsessed with image and preservation. David’s leadership was anchored in relationship and obedience. One clung tightly. The other held responsibility with open hands.
“When the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul… an evil spirit began to torment him” (1 Samuel 16:14, CSB). Control without God’s presence always leads to torment—internally first.
Here’s something worth sitting with: control may produce compliance, but it never produces loyalty. People may obey you, but they won’t trust you. And trust is the currency of lasting leadership.
Statistics back this up. Studies in organizational psychology consistently show that fear-based leadership leads to higher burnout, lower engagement, and increased turnover. People don’t thrive where they feel managed instead of led.
This isn’t about giving up authority. It’s about redefining it. Jesus didn’t lead by force—He led by example, sacrifice, and truth. He washed feet. He asked questions. He trusted His Father more than He controlled outcomes.
Men don’t need less leadership. We need healthier leadership. Leadership that’s strong enough to be gentle. Confident enough to be teachable. Grounded enough to let go.
Control says, “I have to keep this together.”
Leadership says, “I’m not afraid to let others grow.”
And that shift changes everything.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
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Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr.
District Elder & Pastor Harold Robertson, Jr. is a seasoned IT Professional and spiritual leader who bridges technology and faith to drive innovation in schools, churches, and communities. With certifications in ITIL, Google Workspace, AI, and church administration, he empowers organizations to thrive through strategic tech integration and leadership.
